The Lovers is not only romance. It is the moment two parts of you, or two paths in your life, are asking to be put together or kept apart. The card is the standing in front of the choice, not the choice itself.
Upright
Upright, the Lovers are alignment. You are not just attracted, you are agreed. The values match. The vision matches. The body matches. The card is rare. When it lands, it is asking you to notice how aligned things actually are.
Reversed
Reversed, the card is the relationship or decision where the parts do not actually fit, no matter how much you want them to. It is also self alignment broken: saying yes with the mouth and no with the body.
When it shows up
The Lovers tend to show up before a choice that will be irreversible. Slow down with them. They want you to actually decide.